I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
