like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
