i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
