He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
