you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Plan B is the new Plan A
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
