Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
