So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
