508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
