I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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