ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
