Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
