ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
