is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
