Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
