Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
