After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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