White coat. Heels.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
