I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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