I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
