508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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