am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize