I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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