actually, I'm a sock model
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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