Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
