you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
