mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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