No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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