I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
