before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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