afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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