I want to walk on stilts...naked
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize