Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
