oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
