And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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