Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
