i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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