i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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