What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
