i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
