More tranny stories later!
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
