how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
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You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
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Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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