honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize