Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
