Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
