pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
