The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
