What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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