There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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