i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
