I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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