Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
