I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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