It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
