i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
