i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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