I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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