who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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