i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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