Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
