Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
