Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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