Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
