I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
