i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
