I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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