So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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