Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
