i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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