My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
organizing the empties. That sober.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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