I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
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i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
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Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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