He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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